A Million Dollar Idea

Hey, don't dis the crotch stereo speaker boxers idea. I'm thinking this could be very big. I could create collections of pre-embryonic music. Like that Mozart for Babies thing Kerrie was babbling about a couple Sundays ago.

My Verdict

I love you, too, honey. Thanks for going virtual underwear shopping for the sake of our child.

I've carefully perused the choices.

Yes. (Toolbelt)
Yes. (Tux)
HELL, yes. (Loincloth)

As for the musical sperm invention? Don't quit your day job.

George Foreman, indeed! LMAO

Boxers Schmoxers

Apparently there was a section of our wedding vows that I didn't notice. The part where it said I promise to obey the Underwear Laws as set by my pregnancy minded wife.

I gotta tell you that my balls have never complained about the heat from my briefs.

But I love Charlotte, and frankly the style of my underwear isn't something I care that much about. So, baby, here are some options I want YOU to consider.

Here's the obvious choice.








These are for those formal occasions when I need to dress up. Heh heh. Dress UP, get it? UP? Because you know I'm always up for you, baby.







Me, Tarzan. You, Jane. If I wear these, my balls will be loose and free as the fertility gods intended.

Plus, there's the easy-access aspect that I like a whole lot.

I do draw the line at doing a Tarzan yell. A mans dignity can only take so much abuse.



And here are some shorts that have a pocket for my iPod. If I just install some tiny speakers near the crotch, my developing sperm can rock and roll. Maybe I can even find a company that will manufacture these for other fathers to be. Just think. I could be the George Foreman of fertility underpants.

Great Balls of Fire!

We want babies. What with Ben referring to his penis all the time as BIG BEN (LMAO), we need a Little Ben around the house. Of course, we probably wouldn't name the baby Ben. People would be sure to call him Benny, I really hate that Elton John song. But I digress.

My brother-in-law "Michael The Doctor" (as my mother refers to him, and believe me you can hear the capital letters when she says that), told us all this technical jargon about ovulation and all that, but Kerrie said to just do it every other day.

I did some research on the internet and found out that wearing briefs isn't good if you're trying to conceive. I told Ben that his underwear was making his testicles too hot, resulting in a lower sperm count.

He cracked up. Then, of course, he cracked a joke:

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Sadie?
Sadie who?
Sadie magic word and I'll show you just how hot my balls are!

Then he cracked up some more.

Tell me, do we really want this man to reproduce? LMAO

Spillcheck

Pssst, Bozo. You spelled "your" wrong. LOL

Aloha From Ben

The Cons of a Hawaiian Honeymoon

1. Five hours on an airplane with your knees up to your chin.

2. Getting addicted to macadamia nuts in any form. My favorite - the ones with that butter candy coating.

3. Poi.

The Pros of a Hawaiian Honeymoon

1. I have a new wife. She's mine all mine. Still haven't quite accepted that. At one point on the plane, she fell asleep with her head on my shoulder and I looked over at her. Had to chuckle at the little drool on her chin, but still, it hit me. She really did marry me. We're together now forever. Until we're old. Someday we'll come back to Hawaii for a tenth honeymoon or something stupid like that and I'll remember this moment. Shit. Damn near cried right there in seat 23E.

2. The vegetation is amazing. Of course, I knew it would be. Spent some time arranging for the hotel to deliver a different flower to Charlotte every evening at turn down time. One of my better ideas I have to say. It cost me a bundle but I got paid back double if you know what I mean. Heh heh.

3. Finding out how to say "knock" in Hawaiian, so I can pester Charlotte with jokes in two languages like this one:

Kikeke, kikeke.

Whose there?

Sarah.

Sarah, who?

Sarah reason you're not laughing? Ahhahahahah!!!

And if your wondering why I don't have any spelling errors, its because of spellcheck! Ha!